CBL is presently on vacation with his family in Philadelphia (recently named by the Amereican Tort Reform Association as the Numero Uno Judicial Hellhole in America, but that's a story for another day). But that certainly won't keep CBL from reporting the urgent news its readers need to know now when it comes to the exploding escargot lawsuit.
Because yes, justice has been served. As reported by crusading reporter Glenn Klein of the Marin Independent Journal,
Judge Roy Chernus dismissed "with prejudice" a negligence lawsuit filed by Chadwick St.-OHarra and Steve Righetti, who claimed their snails ruptured at Seafood Peddler last June, splattering their faces and shirts with hot garlic butter.
The hard-hitting IJ reporter further observed:
"There was absolutely no evidence whatsoever on what caused the escargot to spontaneously splatter grease upon being touched by the plaintiffs," Chernus wrote. "There was no evidence that Seafood Peddler did not exercise reasonable care in the preparation or service of the escargot."
"As unfortunate as it was for plaintiffs being splattered with hot grease, they are not entitled to a judgment against defendant as no breach of duty was established by the evidence presented," the judge concluded.
It's really a shame, as the pioneering plaintiffs apparently sought to invent two heretofor unrecognized causes of action, accusing the restauarnt staff of ""indifference" and "friggin' rudeness" in the immediate aftermath."
Reachd by the IJ, the two unsuccessful plaintiffs borrowed a time-honored approach from Corporate America spokesmen, declining to comment until they had an opportunity to review the small claims court ruling.
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